[MacTUG] Amusing article: about bootcamping

[Marlon A. Griffith]

From engadget.com:
"""
Switched On: Boot Camp - The Miffing Manual

Posted Apr 12th 2006 1:38PM by Ross Rubin
Filed under: Desktops, Features, Laptops
Each week Ross Rubin contributes Switched On, a 
weekly column about the future of technology, 
multimedia, and digital entertainment:

"All right! Listen up, maggot! Welcome to Fort 
Dragg. I am your Commanding Microsoft Office-er 
Sgt. Pepper! How do you like that for trademark 
infringement, Apple Corps? I bet you came here 
today because you wanted to serve your computer 
company by beta testing Boot Camp? Well, let me 
tell you something. It ain't gonna be easy, you 
puke!

"Over the next 50 minutes, I will become your 
father, your mother, your Apple Specialist, your 
third-tier tech support person, and your best 
friend! Your heart may belong to Apple but your 
butt belongs to me! Your precious vendor won't 
support other operating systems, so you better be 
quicker than a FireWire 800 port, because if you 
ain't, you just may blow your disk up with your 
laser mouse.

"You come here as a sack of rotting apples unfit 
to touch a scroll ball! But I will tear down your 
hard drive into partitions until you cry. You 
will feel the burn like a driver CD. You will 
break like compatibility with classic Mac 
applications. Your identity will be so far gone 
that Spotlight won't be able to find it. 
Remember, there is no Windows ME in 'team.' If 
you can reset your system clock, you will leave 
with a time-killing, dual-booting, PC 
game-running machine! Do you hear me!?"

"Sir! Yes, sir!"

"You look me straight in the iSight when you talk 
to me. Is that understood, maggot, or do I have 
to create a Keynote presentation for you?"

"No, sir! Cinema-quality effects that animate 
text, graphics and slides are not necessary, sir!"

"Louder, maggot! Whattsa matter? You install the volume limiter on your iPod?"

"SIR! NO, SIR!"

"Now, you're gonna have to understand a few 
things before you engage the enemy. The enemy 
will do anything it can to kill your morale. It 
will show its flag whenever you try to boot it. 
The enemy is not beyond using viral agents. The 
enemy will not shy from spying on your personal 
information. The enemy is not human. It cannot 
understand us, at least not without software such 
as Mediafour's MacDrive. And the strongest among 
us have been known to cower with a three-finger 
salute when confronted with its fearsome Blue 
Screen of Death. War is Dell.

"You there, hiding in front of the glass!"

"Yes, sir?"

"You are uninstalling a program and the enemy 
offers to remove DLLs that are no longer needed! 
Do you agree to it?"

"Sure, sir. I don't see why not."

"Well, look who stepped out from behind the 
Genius Bar! You stupid maggot! You're as slow as 
Photoshop under Rosetta; I've seen Automator 
scripts smarter than you! You never trust the 
enemy! Now drop and give me 20 right-clicks!"

"But, sir, my MacBook Pro has no right mouse button!"

"40 right clicks! If I wanted to look at 
something full of hot air, I'd have bought me a 
G5! Now DROP before I use this iPod HiFi to knock 
you into the middle of the Macworld 2007 keynote!

"All right, now! I want this group to disappear 
like application in Exposé. March through the 
steps needed to install XP on your Mac. March! 
And I want to hear that marching song as you do 
it! Mac OS Ten-Hut!"

"PC vendors had their say!
Vista missed the holiday!
I don't know but I've been told
Leopard's master will reach gold!
XP is what we will tame!
Virtual PC is so lame!
Sound off! Menu bar!
Sound off! Taskbar!
1-2-3-4. We areŠ Dual Corps!"
"""


--
Make it a great day!
Marlon A. Griffith
Architecture Computing and Media
School of Architecture
University of Waterloo
519-885-1211 x7651
m3griffi at architecture.uwaterloo.ca
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